In the midst of all of my big emotions about family-growing this week, God has been finding me. But strangely enough, He hasn’t been touching on reproduction. Instead, He is inviting me to remember that He is present.
Wednesday brought a text from my parents, letting me know a BIG change in their lives. The confidence they showed in God and His plan held me up when I started spotting at work that afternoon.
Thursday morning found me in an awful mood. I was angry and impatient and feeling sorry for myself. A text from R, letting me know how rough his morning was, took me out of my pity party and into prayer for my husband. Prayers for him to trust God with the situation and to be blessed with peace gave me the same.
This morning, I was sad and feeling unmotivated when I woke up. When I reached full consciousness, I remembered that R was having a tough week and was prompted pray for him. Aloud. In R's presence. (I never pray out loud for people, especially within their hearing.) As I prayed for him to experience God’s grace and peace, and to honor God with his reactions today, He made it clear that this message was for me as well.
An offhand comment from my unsaved co-worker led me to purchase a copy of The Message for her. As I prayed over the inscription last night, I was reminded that she referred to the Bible as a book of stories so I suggested that she check out Esther and John. When I gave it to her this morning, she was shocked and a little tearful when she read the inscription and let me know that their book club had made the decision to read Esther starting TOMORROW (!!). God let me know that I can trust Him to open doors to people’s hearts, even when I am afraid to share my faith.
Later, unable to focus on my BSF lesson, I began reading the forward from the book my mom gave me for V-Day. Once again, God found me:
“THIS is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” (Psalm 118:24) This day [...]- it was all the Lord’s doing and we rejoiced together in His goodness.
-Esther: Reflections from an Unexpected Life
That reminder that THIS day -today- is a gift from God found me crying at my desk.
He created it, the situations leading into it and the things that will happen during it, and gave it to me. No matter how yesterday was or how today unfolds, I am called to REJOICE because THIS day is from God. He will use each little thing today to either encourage me or refine me.
What an awesome reminder that God has a plan and all I have to do is trust Him.
The struggles I see my parents face show me how to rely on God’s plan and trust His faithfulness. It also points out to me how blessed I am to have them as role models, both in how to parent and how to be a Godly person. I can only pray that I can provide the same example to my daughter.
The hard times with R’s work show me how much he has grown in Christ, even from six months ago. They also teach me how to pray for my husband and how to trust God to meet R at his need. (I am glad to say that today has been the least stressful day of his work week.)
The same way, the frustration and sadness I have over the size of our family can remind me of how blessed I am.
In all honesty, I never expected that life could be this good. Looking back at all of the pain and brokenness that led into (and followed me during… and after…) my divorce, I never thought that I could look around and see good things again.
But when I open my eyes and see what God has done, I can’t help but rejoice.
God is good.
God is faithful.
God is forgiving.
God is God.
I want to send you the same message I sent to the people that I love after reading the passage above:
THIS is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. God has given you this day and will meet you in it. I hope you are able to find time and a reason to thank Him today. Love you!