Gift

R gave me a wonderful gift last night: he willingly had a conversation about the maybe baby.

We discussed names, talked about how we would arrange our room to accommodate a changing table and bassinet, what each of us considered essential baby gear… It was absolutely wonderful. He even asked if I would make him a shirt that said “Ask Me about My Vasectomy” to wear in the delivery room. Heh.

I know that the chances are beyond slim but it did make me feel good to have a fun conversation about it working. I have been able to walk into today with a gentle spirit, content with how this all turns out. For today, I know that a positive would not be the end of the world for R and a negative wouldn’t be the end of the world for me.

Today, I feel positive. Not about our chances, but about us.

Today, I feel light.

**

5dpo, AM Heartburn/Nausea. More energy this morning. Last night I had a wicked wave of nausea and almost lost dinner in the shower. Yuck.