Friday, August 30, 2013

Shower Thoughts

This post is about pregnancy. If you're not in a good place, please feel free to pass. Take care of you!

I want to be sure before moving forward with this post that it is understood that we don't expect a baby shower or think a shower is due to us just because I'm pregnant. As we were discussing this subject, R told me that a baby shower was not held for either of his two boys. I know that the minimum requirements, a car seat and a place to sleep, will be covered. So much of what one puts on a registry is not, technically, a necessity.

***

Something I never really thought about as we went through our own unique version of secondary infertility: do you have a baby shower for a second child?

I understand that for most "normal" families and etiquette in the truest sense, the answer to this would be no. My thoughts on our situation, however, are different. My first child will be eight years old by the time the second child is born. I have nothing left: no gear, no car seat, no crib, no toys... Not a drop except for the few pieces I chose to keep for sentimental reasons.


Something that goes along with this for me is friends. While I've made a handful of connections here in NC (two neighbors, my previous boss, a few ladies at BSF), all of my close friends and certainly all of my blood family are out of state. I also have people in FL who come to mind, old church friends who are special to me and supported me through the divorce, but I don't stay in regular contact with them. If I still lived in FL, I would include these people if we were to have a shower. I also would have stayed in contact with them, since y'know, we'd be in the same town. But, since I'm out of state now, I think it would tacky.

I don't work in a traditional office, so there's no expectation there (even though I personally planned THREE surprise baby showers while I was at my last job and struggling through SIF. Grr!)

I would love your honest thoughts about all of this.
Please don't feel like you have to say "yes, do it!"

Right now, I'm asking the Lord for generosity whether that comes in terms of someone in NC offering to host a shower or His provision of finances to purchase these items.

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Thirteen Weeks: Recipes

This post briefly mentions this pregnancy. If you're not in a good place, please feel free to pass. Take care of you!

I don't have much to report this week. I've been sleeping well, no nausea or anything, the first week of school was great. Just normal life, you know? I didn't track my food as religiously this week and am down another pound. I see now what a difference there is between cooking at home verses eating out. Also, not eating ice cream every day. Who'd a thunk?

So, in absence of anything really interesting, I've been trying out a few new recipes. We are SO tired of chicken, yet it is the leanest protein our family enjoys. I've been poking around Pinterest and found a lot of things that sound oh-so-yummy. Here's what we've done this week:

Forgotten Chicken
I made this little beauty in the crockpot Wednesday night, using Campbell's Healthy Choice Cream of Celery Soup and Hidden Valley Garlic Herb Dressing Mix. Served with steamed asparagus. Delicious! Next time, though, I will start the rice in the morning and add the chicken around 2pm. And probably add a bit more water to the rice as it was underdone (didn't keep us from eating it, though).

One-Dish Baked Chicken with Veggies
Tonight in the oven. I'm using broccoli as the veggie with Idaho potatoes for R and sweet potato for me since that's what I've got on hand. Seasoned with Hidden Valley Spicy Ranch Dressing Mix. Next time I will probably pick up fingerling potatoes, just to make it prettier.

Seared Beef Rolls
This was a find from FoodPornDaily.com. I'm rolling these with the remaining asparagus because I don't like mushrooms. Served with a frozen teriyaki veggie bag from Target and Minute Brand Multigrain Medley since I've been advised to add quinoa to my diet. I'm really excited about trying it!

I've been pinning a lot of easy, one-dish meals for both the crockpot and freezer in preparation for Smudge's birth. The difficultly is proving to be finding non-dairy variations, as I plan to go off dairy one month prior and six months after birth due to Little K and Baby M's dairy sensitivities as infants. Do not want! Most of these meals contain condensed soup, so I'm researching vegan roux for thickening my own condensed soup. Figure I can mix up a bunch, portion it out, and stick it in the freezer. Thoughts?

Any recommendations for great, easy chicken, crockpot, or freezer meals?

Monday, August 26, 2013

Second Grade, Emotions, Cramps

Before I get all... feelings... on you, my big girl started second grade today!


Actually, that does call for emotions. Waa! She's growing up so fast!!!

***

I've been super emotional the past few days. Fact: R and I stayed up to finally watch Star Trek: Into Darkness last night - I cried constantly through the last 45 minutes of the movie and wanted to go curl up in bed with Little K once it was over. *sigh* Pregnancy hormones are just awful sometimes.

I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed with navigating shared-custody while pregnant. Trying to plan Little K's travel to see her dad this Christmas and Spring Break have me on edge. I was planning on driving to FL the end of December to pick Little K up from Christmas Break and do a little baby shower. But we ended up canceling the shower because, hello! I moved to NC five years ago. Time to let it go.

That throws the travel plans all crazy-like. Her dad is talking about having her fly down (ALONE!) the beginning of Christmas break and, although she is old enough and excited about the idea, I'm just not comfortable with that. I could drive her down to FL at the beginning but, since the break is only 9 or 10 days this year, should I just stay and drive her home myself? But I would be away from R for Christmas. My folks won't be in town to Christmas anyway: they are going to see my sister and niece in TX. Maybe I could go with them and be there for my niece's first Christmas? That would be a ton of fun but also has me in the car for two days each way, not counting the NC-FL-NC drive. So... six days total.

I've reached out to my folks about maybe spending NYE with us this year, so perhaps they can bring her back home with them at the end of break. But what to do about getting her TO FL? GAH!!!

And then Spring Break: her break begins on March 8th. My new due date is March 7th. AUGH!!!!! I can't even start with that one right now...

***

After the cryfest that was Stat Trek last night, I tried to curl up and go to sleep only to be kept up by some really weird pains/cramps in my lower abdomen. They were only in one place: below and to the right of my belly button. I've felt these off and on for a week or two but they were coming every few minutes last night. Of course, I was worried about miscarriage, etc. NO FUN at close to midnight. But I remembered some of my reading and got up, used the bathroom (no spotting, thank you Lord), drank a big glass of water, and laid down with my feet up. Eventually they stopped and I was able to fall asleep.

I've felt a couple more as I've been typing this, so I'm going to drink another glass of water, lie down, and call the midwife. Prayers, please!

Friday, August 23, 2013

Praying for Peace



I know summer is hard on the blogs. Many slow or stop posting/commenting in the summer months as schedules become more relaxed and vacations pick up. We spend more time outside and less in front of our computers.

One of the reasons I’ve been so quiet is fear. Not of this pregnancy or anything going wrong but of the ways this baby will change our family.

Moments this past week with Little K home, enjoying her so much and the amazing ways she has grown make me question our decision to change our family dynamic by adding another child.

Time alone with R the two weeks between children and realizing that we won’t have that again for years.

Balancing interaction with Little K and keeping her away from TV/computer this week with work and the realization of how difficult it will be to balance work with a newborn.

Worrying about our finances, crappy insurance, lack of savings, and how we’re going to pay taxes in the Spring.

It all gets so overwhelming!

I’m trying so hard to focus on the Lord and His plan. Even though we pursued treatment, we went very low tech on a one-time shot so that we could trust Him with the outcome. And He gave us a child.

We trusted Him with creating this new life; I have to trust Him with our family and finances.

12 Weeks: Officially Out

These posts focus specifically on this pregnancy. If you're not in a good place, please feel free to pass. Take care of you!


Little K came home and she brought this little guy with her!


***

Here we are! The last week, theoretically, of the first trimester. Work is nuts this week, so I think we're looking at some quick bullet points:
  • Gotta say it again: I'm down 5 pounds! Wooooo!!
A brief note on the above: Thank you, again, for your concern and support in creating an eating plan for this pregnancy. The midwife I saw last week stated that they only want me to gain 20 pounds with this pregnancy. Apparently, even at only 5 pounds heavier than I was when Little K was conceived, my starting BMI was officially on the overweight scale. Grr!!!
  • I am thrilled to say that my stomach and burping have finally settled down. Woot! 
  • We have settled on names for a boy and a girl. Fun!
  • Little K now knows about the baby and is mostly excited. Phew!
  • Little K has also been telling the other adults in her life (teacher, Sunday school teacher, neighbors) about the baby. Guess we're official!
Speaking of official, I'm doing the prep work to go live on Facebook. I know what a sensitive subject this is and want to be sure we handle it with grace. The image below will be posted with the following caption:

One in eight couples experience infertility. Find out how you can get involved at www.resolve.org.
What do you think?

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Weight and Eating Plan

This is a pregnancy specific post.

I'm going to do my full 12 week update tomorrow but may I just say:

WOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

I just got off the scale and am down 5 pounds from my weigh-in last week. AWESOME! I took your advice, as well as that of my medically trained aunt, and upped my planned daily caloric intake from 1200 to 1500-1600. I've completely cut eating out (except for Sunday after church), caffeinated beverages, diet soda, and heavy sweets. We also have been consistently walking in the evenings and I've added some light weight lifting back into my routine.

I am THRILLED at this weight loss. I know that the goal of pregnancy is not to lose weight - that would be crazy. In fact, my midwife specifically told me not to try to lose. However, I slipped deep into self-loathing after that talk with my midwife last week, having already gained half of my total allowed for this pregnancy. I really, truly haven't been trying to lose any weight: my goal has been to maintain the 10 pound total gain for the next 4-8 weeks. But I will admit that I am ECSTATIC about having gone from gaining 10 pounds total to just 5 pounds total. That leaves a GREAT buffer for the rest of pregnancy - 15 pounds available to gain.

Awesome!!!

I think that a big part of my self-loathing was comparing this pregnancy to my pregnancy with Little K. With her, I gained 25 pounds total. Completely normal, right? The thing is that, by the time I hit 18 weeks I had only gained 7 pounds. In fact, my OB got on me about actually GAINING weight! Which just turned into putting butter on my role at lunch and adding cheese to my salads... I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight by 6 weeks post pardum and back into my clothes by 3 months. It was so easy!

Of course, that was 8 years ago. I'm in my thirties now and the weight has been slowly increasing the past 5 years. The weird thing is, starting this pregnancy, I was just 5 pounds over my starting weight with Little K. But it's up 23 pounds from when R and I got married (which was a very unhealthy weight for me at the time, extreme weight loss caused by divorce stress).

My weight has been creeping up since I hit 29 and has escalated over the past three years. Nothing I have done, until now, has been able to slow the gain. Is daily walking really making that big a difference? Maybe. I've been mindful (yet not strict) of my eating for several years now but I'm more focused than ever at making good choices and getting daily activity. I want to be healthy for this baby and for myself.

(So, below is my eating chart for the past week. I have no idea how to insert a PDF or anything here, so it's tough to read. Any suggestions on how to post this next week?)


8/16/2013


Calories Fat Net Carbs Fiber Protein
Friday Breakfast 9:00 AM Fage Greek Yogurt, Blueberry 120 0 17 0 13

Lunch 12:00 PM 1 Slice: Flax and Fiber Bread 80 1 8 4 5



1T: Jiff Natural PB 85 8 2 1 3.5



1T: Smuckers Natural Strawberry 40 0 11 0 0



Sargento Light String Cheese 50 2.5 0 0 6



Apple 95 0.3 18 4.4 0.5



Sugar Cookie 80 4 11 0 0

Snack 2:30 PM 3/4C Special K Fruit and Yogurt 120 1 21 3 2



1/2C Skim Milk 40 0 6 0 4



Banana 110 0 24 3 1

Snack 4:30 PM 1 Slice: Flax and Fiber Bread 80 1 8 4 5



1T Biscoff Spread 90 6 8.5 0 0.5



Orange Yogurt Homemade Popsicle 53 1 10 0 2

Dinner 7:00 PM 7oz Flank Steak 364 14 0 0 56



Asian Salad 200 3 7 10 0



Amaretto Cheesecake 400 22 22 0 4




2007 63.8 173.5 29.4 102.5

Exercise 9:30 AM 3Sx10R: 30lb Press & Curl, 5lb Head/Arm





Exercise 9:00 PM 2.5 Mile Walk, 45 Minutes -200












8/17/2013


Calories Fat Net Carbs Fiber Protein
Saturday Breakfast 10:00 AM Fage Greek Yogurt, Blueberry 120 0 17 0 13

Snack 11:00 AM Banana 110 0 24 3 1

Lunch 12:30 PM 1 Slice: Flax and Fiber Bread 80 1 8 4 5



1T: Jiff Natural PB 85 8 2 1 3.5



1T: Smuckers Natural Strawberry 40 0 11 0 0



Sargento Light String Cheese 50 2.5 0 0 6



Apple 95 0.3 18 4.4 0.5


2:30 PM 3/4C Special K Fruit and Yogurt 120 1 21 3 2



1/2C Skim Milk 40 0 6 0 4

Snack 4:00 PM 1 Slice: Flax and Fiber Bread 80 1 8 4 5



1T Biscoff Spread 90 6 8.5 0 0.5


5:30 PM Orange Yogurt Homemade Popsicle 53 1 10 0 2

Dinner 8:00 PM 7oz Shoyu Chicken Breast 320 6 7 0 57



1/2C Cooked Brown Rice 100 1 20 2 2.5



Cabbage and Onion Stir Fry 35 1 4 2 1

Dessert 9:00 PM 2 Pieces Chocolate Orange 92 5 11 0 0.5




1510 33.8 175.5 23.4 103.5

Exercise 11:00 AM 2 Hours Cleaning House













8/18/2013


Calories Fat Net Carbs Fiber Protein
Sunday Breakfast 8:30 AM Fage Greek Yogurt, Blueberry 120 0 17 0 13

Lunch 11:30 AM 2 JBC Plain 660 32 46 2 38



Apple 95 0.3 18 4.4 0.5

Snack 4:00 PM 1 Slice: Flax and Fiber Bread 80 1 8 4 5



1T Biscoff Spread 90 6 8.5 0 0.5



Orange Yogurt Homemade Popsicle 53 1 10 0 2


6:00 PM 3 oz Shoyu Chicken Breast 150 2 3 0 22



1 Piece Thick Cut Bacon 60 5 0 0 4



1/2C Cooked Brown Rice 100 1 20 2 2.5



Broccoli Slaw 25 0 0 2 0

Dessert 8:45 PM Orange Yogurt Homemade Popsicle 53 1 10 0 2

Snack 9:30 PM 3/4 Nature's Valley Pecan Crunch Bar 140 5 22 1.5 3




1626 54.3 162.5 15.9 92.5

Exercise 8:00 PM 2.5 Mile Walk, 35 Minutes -225












8/19/2013


Calories Fat Net Carbs Fiber Protein
Monday Breakfast 8:30 AM Banana 110 0 24 3 1



1/2 Nature's Valley Pecan Crunch Bar 85 3.5 14 1 2

Lunch 11:30 AM 1 Slice: Flax and Fiber Bread 80 1 8 4 5



1T: Jiff Natural PB 85 8 2 1 3.5



1T: Smuckers Natural Strawberry 40 0 11 0 0



Sargento Light String Cheese 50 2.5 0 0 6



Apple 95 0.3 18 4.4 0.5



1/2 Nature's Valley Pecan Crunch Bar 85 3.5 14 1 2

Snack 2:30 PM 1 Slice: Flax and Fiber Bread 80 1 8 4 5



1T Biscoff Spread 90 6 8.5 0 0.5

Snack 4:00 PM .5oz Turkey, 1 Cube Cheese, 2 Cantelope 75 2 6 1 1



Reduced Fat Sugar Cookie 60 1 13 0 0

Dinner 6:00 PM 5oz Chicken Breast 250 6 0 0 40



1/2C Cooked WG Mac and Cheese 160 2 25 4 5



Grilled Baby Asparagus 40 1 4 4 4



Pears 40 0 5 0 0

Dessert 8:45 PM Orange Yogurt Homemade Popsicle 53 1 10 0 2

Snack 10:00 PM 1/2 Nature's Valley Pecan Crunch Bar 85 3.5 14 1 2




1563 42.3 184.5 28.4 79.5

Exercise 7:15 PM 2.5 Mile Walk, 35 Minutes -225












8/20/2013


Calories Fat Net Carbs Fiber Protein
Tuesday Breakfast 9:30 AM 1.5C Special K Fruit and Yogurt 240 2 48 6 4



1C Skim Milk 80 0 12 0 8

Lunch 12:00 PM 2 pieces Nature's Own Enriched Wheat Bread 80 0.5 13 6 5



1 Kraft Single 70 5 2 0 4



1/2 Spicy Guac 100 Calorie Pack 50 4.5 0 1.5 0.5



1/4C Mandarin Oranges 40 0 9 0 0



Pears 40 0 5 0 0



Red Grapes 50 0 14 0.5 0



Mini Cucumber 10 0 2 1 1



1T Bolthouse Ranch 23 1.5 1.5 0 0.5



1/4C Butter Toffee Almonds 160 12 6 3 5

Snack 2:00 PM 7 Chocolate Crackers 300 14 25 0 0

Dinner 6:00 PM 4oz Taco Meat: 93/7 GB/Ground Turkey Breast 150 5 0 0 24



1/2 Heart Romaine Lettuce 55 1 4 6 4



Bell Peppers 25 0 2 2 0



2T Bolthouse Salsa Ranch Dressing 40 3 3 0 1



1/2 Tortilla 70 2 12 0.5 2



2T Shredded Cheese 60 3.5 0 0 5



1/4 Spicy Guac 100 Calorie Pack 25 2.25 0 0.75 0.25

Dessert 8:00 PM Orange Yogurt Homemade Popsicle 53 1 10 0 2




1621 57.25 168.5 27.25 66.25

Exercise 10:30 AM 3Sx10R: 30lb Press & Curl, 5lb Head/Arm





Exercise 7:00 PM 2.5 Mile Walk, 35 Minutes -225












8/21/2013


Calories Fat Net Carbs Fiber Protein
Wednesday Breakfast 8:30 AM Fage Greek Yogurt, Blueberry 120 0 17 0 13

Lunch 11:15 AM 1.5C Special K Fruit and Yogurt 240 2 48 6 4



1C Skim Milk 80 0 12 0 8

Snack 1:45 PM 0.5C Special K Fruit and Yogurt 80 0.7 13 2 1.5



.3C Skim Milk 30 0 4 0 2



2 Chocolate Crackers 100 3 4 0 0

Snack 4:00 PM Banana 110 0 24 3 1



1/4C Butter Toffee Almonds 160 12 6 3 5

Dinner 6:00 PM 1/2 Heart Romaine Lettuce 55 1 4 6 4



1/2C Steamed Kale 17 0 2 2 0



Broccoli 25 0 2 2 0



4oz Chicken Breast, Grilled 180 4 0 0 32



1T S&P Almonds 45 3.5 0 1 2



2T Bolthouse Farms Yogurt Dressing 45 2.5 3 0 2



1/4 Cheese Quesadilla with Taco Meat 150 4 10 1 5

Dessert 8:30 PM 3 Chocolate Crackers 150 5 5 0 0




1587 37.7 154 26 79.5

Exercise 8:00 PM 3Sx12R: 30lb Press & Curl, 5lb Head/Arm






7:00 PM 2.5 Mile Walk, 40 Minutes -210












8/22/2013


Calories Fat Net Carbs Fiber Protein
Thursday Breakfast 9:45 AM Fage Greek Yogurt, Blueberry 120 0 17 0 13

Lunch 12:00 PM 1 Slice: Flax and Fiber Bread 80 1 12 4 5



1T: Jiff Natural PB 85 8 3 1 3.5



1T: Smuckers Natural Strawberry 40 0 11 0 0



Sargento Light String Cheese 50 2.5 0 0 6



Mini Cucumber 10 0 2 1 1



1T Bolthouse Ranch 23 1.5 1.5 0 0.5



Pears 40 0 5 0 0

Snack 2:00 PM Banana 110 0 24 3 1



1/4C Butter Toffee Almonds 160 12 6 3 5

Snack 3:30 PM 1 Slice: Flax and Fiber Bread 80 1 8 4 5



1T Biscoff Spread 90 6 8.5 0 0.5



Half Apple 48 0 10.5 2.2 0.25

Dinner 5:30 PM 5oz Chicken Breast 250 6 0 0 40



1/2C Cooked WG Mac and Cheese 160 2 25 4 5



Baked Kale Chips 25 2 2 2 0



Red Grapes 50 0 14 0.5 0

Dessert 8:00 PM Orange Yogurt Homemade Popsicle 53 1 10 0 2




1474 43 159.5 24.7 87.75

Exercise 8:00 PM 3Sx12R: 30lb Press & Curl, 5lb Head/Arm






7:00 PM 2.5 Mile Walk, 35 Minutes -225



Thursday, August 15, 2013

Eleven Weeks


These posts focus specifically on this pregnancy. If you’re not in a good place, please feel free to pass. Take care of you!

I’m happy to say that we were able to schedule my first appointment at the birth center, which I attended this morning.

First, the good stuff: 

  • After much searching, we were able to locate Smudge’s heartbeat! It seems that I have an anterior placenta, which makes hearing or feeling the baby rather muffled. But I was thrilled to hear it, however quietly.
  • I was complemented on my pelvis. Wah-huh? Seems that it is shaped well and should be able to handle vaginal delivery just fine. Which, yay, but I kinda knew that already what with the birth of Little K and all.
  • I picked up a kid size doll Ergo for Little K that matches my big one. Squee!

 Second, the fine stuff:
  • The midwife confirmed that, while my cervix was “hiding” from her, it looks good.
  • I was able to ask a few questions and I certainly didn’t feel rushed during the appointment.

Third, the not-good stuff:

  • I had a very painful blood draw. Boo!
  • I have gained a lot of weight already – half of what they want me to gain total. I just… ugh. And, unfortunately, this information was at the beginning of the appointment and kinda cast a pall over the whole thing.

I was just stunned. I knew I had gained already but wasn’t prepared for that number. The midwife and I talked about my eating and exercise habits and she confirmed that they aren’t completely out of balance. She did ask me to keep a food diary between now and my next appointment for her review.

She also recommended that, if possible, I increase my exercise. R and I already take a leisurely 2.5 mile walk each evening, which takes us about 45 minutes. She suggested that we increase our pace and try to fit in one other activity per day. I will be switching back and forth between an additional morning walk and light weight lifting. She did suggest perhaps an aerobic prenatal video but I am terrible at actually following through with that kind of exercise.

I’ve prepared an eating plan to handle my appetite. The hope is to commit to the following:

  • Breakfast: Fage Greek Yogurt
  • AM Snack: Banana
  • Lunch: 1/2 PBJ on Whole Grain Bread, Light String Cheese, Apple or Grapes
  • PM Snack: 3/4C Whole Grain Cereal, 1/2C Skim Milk
  • Dinner: Large Salad with Grilled Chicken
  • Dessert: Low Sugar/Low Fat Homemade Popsicle
EDITED TO ADD

So, I just ran the nutritional information for the above eating plan and here are the totals:
  • Calories: 1123
  • Fat: 21.3
  • Net Carbs: 142
  • Fiber: 25.4
  • Protein: 75

The weird thing is that this isn't that different from what I've been doing. Granted, we've been eating out a lot over the past two weeks and I'm sure that has contributed greatly to my weight gain. But still! I'm not consuming that many calories and certainly not the 1500 they recommend for pregnant women. What. The. HECK??

I’m hoping not to gain any more weight for the next eight weeks, certainly not during the next four weeks. If I can stay the same between now and 20 weeks, I will have plenty of room to grow during the last ten weeks.

SO, yeah. That’s the idea. Any feedback is welcome!