Sunday, March 31, 2013

CD15: He is Risen, Indeed!

Friday, March 29, 2013

CD13: Things that make you go, hmm.

Do you have someone in your life who seems to know things before they happen? Who, when they say something, you know to really listen and take it to heart?

I do.

I've been up front here about being a Christian and believing that the Bible is true. 1 Corinthians 12:1-11 talks about spiritual gifts, one of which is the gift of prophecy. While there are many Biblical tests of a prophet, the two that stand out to me are these:
  • Do they consistently give glory to God (through their life lived for Him and for the revelations given to them to share)?
  • Does what they say actually happen?

With my friend, both of these are true. He lives for God whole-heartedly and praises the Lord when what he says actually happens.

Now, this man has never called himself a prophet or claimed that anything he says is a prophecy. It has just worked out that the far-fetched (to me) things he says actually happen. Now, if this most recent statement doesn't happen, what does that mean about my understanding of his gift? I don't know. The Bible tells us that it is possible for a prophet to speak presumptuously. And that, if that happens, to be on guard for any other prophecies this person may make.

Of course, he's never called anything he says "a prophecy", so it may just be me who needs to reconsider my assessment of the situation...

My friend has made several statements about my life, and my life with R - things that I swore would never happen - and each one has inevitably come true. While his latest statement seems even further from possibility than any of the others, I know to listen. To take it seriously.

So far, everything I've heard from him has happened. I would like this one to be true, too.

In the spirit of full disclosure:

After my divorce six years ago, I swore to my friend I would never get married again. He told me that R and I would be married within a year. Nine months later, we were married.

After R and I were engaged, I swore to my friend that I never wanted to have another child. He told me that R and I would have a child together. Within a month of marrying R, I wanted a child with him more than anything. Even after R's vasectomy, my friend continued to tell me that R and I would have a child together.

(He has also told me how things would go down with Little K's father. He has been accurate in every statement he has made about that situation, too.)

Four years later (just six weeks ago), I spoke to my friend again. He told me that his wife was pregnant with the son he had envisioned and of telling her she was pregnant with a boy before she had even taken a pregnancy test. For the record, they have three girls together and the recent 18-week ultrasound confirmed that this new child is a boy.

During that same conversation, I told my friend that R and I were pursuing ART. My friend immediately told me that we would have two children, a boy and a girl.

With only a 20% chance of a pregnancy with this IUI, plus the fact that we are not doing stims, the chance of a fraternal twin pregnancy is extraordinarily slim. But, with this friend, I know to take note of what he says.

I'm looking forward to seeing if the upcoming follicle scan shows two follicles measuring close in size...

Thursday, March 28, 2013

CD12: Feelings, whoa-whoa-whoa

Our Journey Through This Lovely Life and I seem to be on a similar calendar right now and she has managed to sum up my feelings about this cycle perfectly.

I'm currently sitting in my office, surrounded by furniture we've purchased for the guest room/nursery. All we are waiting on right now is the outcome of this cycle so we know whether to purchase a crib or a new headboard. I look at these pieces and can't help smiling. Although we picked them out specifically so they could work for either scenario, they were purchased with our hopeful child in mind.

Our child.

R and I have been talking a lot about the reality of this cycle. How it's no longer something that is months away - it's really happening! We received shipping notification of our vial yesterday and it will be arriving at the clinic tomorrow. I will have our fist follicle check as early as Tuesday of next week. In less than 10 days, our IUI will be done and I could possibly be pregnant! (Although we wouldn't know yet...)

I'm in the place of really believing this is going to work. Each time I've gone in for an appt, the cost is higher than what we were originally quoted by the finance office, yet God continues to provide the funds. R's outlook has taken a definite positive turn and he's opening up about the possibility of a positive result in a way I've never seen before. I look at my abdomen and can so easily picture the fullness that we are hoping will come. I look at our life and can see the little one we are hoping for.

I think hope pray it's going to work.

I'm losing myself to hope right now and it feels so good!

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

CD11: Excited!

Yesterday was so exciting! I'm going to have to go with bullets this morning:
  • To prep for the HSG, I took two 600mg mega pills of ibprofen and an acid controller.When we pulled into the parking lot, I took a valium leftover from R's surgery and a stool softener since narcotics constipate me. I figured I would have time for that little pill to kick in before the procedure but it totally didn't. They had me back in the room so fast that I didn't start to feel the effects until we were getting back in the car to leave! Grr. Talk about a waste! Oh, well, glad I didn't need it.
  • The HSG was a breeze! Maybe it was because I endured an unmedicated cervical biopsy in January, but the the cramping when inserting the catheter was not a big deal. I did look over my shoulder as they did the x-rays and it was very cool to watch the images come up. Dr. C pronounced everything clear and open, ready to go. Woo!
  • As soon as we got home, I went online and ordered our DS. Talk about a big moment! If I hadn't still had the valium in me, I would have been bouncing off the walls. R and I shared long embrace after that... We are both surprised and excited that this is really happening!
  • Our vial is shipping today and will arrive at our clinic on Friday. Woooo!
  • After we ordered the vial and stocked up on iced tea, my mom and I decided to take a drive while the valium wore off. We ended up visiting the country hospital that R and I have been considering for delivery, if all goes well. It's a larger building than I expected but still a very small facility - only 62 beds in the whole building. We decided to go in and scope out the cafeteria, etc. and were pleasantly surprised. The the food looked and smelled wonderful! There is also a large vending area with decent coffee for R, which is a plus for him. On a whim, we asked the receptionist if we could visit the birth center, and she said yes! The birth center is located in a private section of the second floor and the nurses were very kind. They didn't have any moms laboring or babies in the nursery that day - they were completely empty! They were up front about only delivering 30-35 babies per month and about not having a NICU. However, the nurse who gave us the tour informed us of their certifications, which includes newborn infant stabilizing for transit to another hospital with a NICU. They have four labor/delivery/recovery suites in a u-shape with the nurses station and nursery in the center. Additionally, they have four smaller rooms off an adjacent hallway in the event the four suites are occupied. They also have a private elevator down to the operating room in case a c-section is required. This is the same hospital with delivery rights for the midwife practice I've been considering. All in all, I was very pleased with the facility. As long as we are cleared as having a low risk for complications, etc. I would be comfortable there. (You know, if the IUI is successful.)
  • Oh! And R wants to be sure that I mention the directions to the facility include: turn left at the Monster Truck van and turn right at the armory with the Howitzer out front. (OMG, I really do live in the country...)
So, there we have it. Tuesday was a great day and, with our vial shipping today, Wednesday is looking pretty good, too. Even as we went to bed last night, R was being so sweet, saying "We might have a baby..." Aww!

Who knows - this might actually work!

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

HSG Update

Still a little zoned on the Valium but wanted to give an update. The HSG went fine, just a little cramping when the catheter was inserted. Ute and tubes are clear and ready to go!

We're ordering our sample today and should be doing an ultrasound next week to begin estimating a trigger date. Good times!

CD10, TTC Tuesday: HSG Day

My HSG is scheduled for 10:00 AM EST today. I've got my mom, my knee socks, and painkillers. Let's do this!

Although nervous about any pain during the procedure, and the possibility of finding out that my tubes are not open, I'm actually very excited. This is one of the final steps before our IUI! As soon as we receive confirmation that my tubes are open, we will set the date for my first pre-ovulation ultrasound and order the sample from the cryobank. I finally feel like it's really happening!


In other news, the past few days have bee... Well, you'll see:
  • At church on Sunday morning, our pastor sadly announced that the six-month old daughter of one of our church families abruptly passed away in her sleep last week. I just... wow. There aren't even words in my vocabulary for something this terrible. I know that the IF community is full of loss, from miscarriage to stillbirth and even after to disease or accidents, but to be brought back to the fact that SIDS is still a real thing and hits this close to home? My heart hurts for them and all of us.
  •  My parents texted us on Sunday afternoon to let us know a tornado just ripped through the town I grew up in. So far it appears that there has been no loss of life, however property was destroyed, including a portion of my parents' back yard. They said it blew up out of nowhere, from gray skies to black in minutes and then destruction. We are lucky that no one was hurt. It does scare me to know the state of the house Little K and I rented after my divorce. That tiny thing would not have survived the tornado. At any rate, the power is still not back in the little town and Little K is traveling there with my mom for spring break tomorrow. I'm really hoping that everything is cleaned up by the time they land tomorrow afternoon!
  • And then my sister went to the ER around 3:00 AM Monday morning and was found to have a gallbladder infection. She had laproscopic surgery Monday morning and is at home resting now. Of course, with the painkillers, she was not able to nurse month-old Baby M for about 24 hours, so there are concerns about milk supply. Hopefully she has a quick recovery and is able to re-establish a regular nursing routine.
What a mess, huh? Prayers for all are appreciated. Thank you!

Monday, March 25, 2013

CD9, Guest Post: PPD

My sister, becoming brina, asked me to do a guest post over at her new blog: 

I ended up submitting an essay I wrote on PPD when Little K was five months old. I really hope you go check it out!

Sunday, March 24, 2013

CD8, Scripture Sunday: Preparing Your Heart

Easter is a week away and, though delicious, it's not all chocolate bunnies. Here are two things I wanted to mention yesterday that I hope you are able to include in your holiday preparations:

Little K loves these Resurrection Eggs and memorized the story for each egg after just two tellings. Way to go, Little K! I can't recommend these highly enough.

I also wanted to mention the Stations of the Cross tradition. You can experience these on your own as a prayer walk/labyrinth or as a daily devotional. It's a great way to prepare yourself for Easter Sunday and I hope you check them out!