He Knows, Lead Like Jesus

There is an incredible woman in my life, one who has stuck by me and loved me through every moment. Who I go to for prayer, friendship, advice, and validation...

My mom.

In addition to her many other activities, including writing, consulting, and attending seminary for her MDiv, she is a part of the group Lead Like Jesus and writes their daily email devotionals. (You can sign up to receive them!)

Today's devotional is wonderful:

DAY 70 | March 11, 2013 What season of life are you in? Are you bursting with energy and vision? Are you reflecting on what has been and waiting for what is to come? Are you actively investing in a long-term goal or wondering what is next? Perhaps you are transitioning to a new season, or finishing well. Perhaps you are gathering energy for a new venture or working steadily at what God has shown you. Wherever God has you, take time today to sense God's presence and align yourself with Him. There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.--Ecclesiastes 3:1 Prayer O Lord, You are the Creator of the seasons of life, the rhythms of days, weeks, and years. Your love surrounds me and Your Spirit is ever-present to guide me as I move through each one. Today, assure me of Your presence and align me with Your purpose, I pray in Jesus' name. Amen.

My seasons are all out of whack. I've been pursuing this goal of expanding our family for three years! And now that we're so close, I feel burned out. As I was falling asleep last night, I thought about the HSG and what the next step would be if we found that my tubes were blocked. Honestly, if that were to be the case, we probably wouldn't move forward with treatment.

And do you know how that made me feel? Relieved.

I'm just feeling so DONE right now. Which is not a fun place to be. The Lord has done so much to get R and I to the point of pursing treatment. He brought up from opposite stances to unity, to two work from home jobs, to affordable treatment... We've seen Him do so much and will not be turning off the path He has provided. But, OH! how I'm looking forward to having this all behind us!

Of course, I say that I feel emotionally checked out of the whole situation, but I spent the weekend with some ladies from my BSF group and was excited to share about our upcoming treatment. These are ladies who were in my group last year and were THRILLED to hear the work the Lord has done in our family. And, when one of the women prayed for me and our upcoming treatment, I of course cried through the whole thing.

I'm just ready to KNOW. to have everything behind us and to know how it all turned out. Team Harries reminded me today that God knows. He knew we would pursue treatment, He knew it would be delayed, and He knows the result. I am trusting HIM and the path He has prepared. And trying not to wish away the journey.