Romans 8:28

Wow, am I glad last week is over! But first, three four good things:

·         My parents unexpectedly visited this weekend!

·         I began my crochet Christmas presents!

·         A great weekend with Little K!

·         R surprised me by washing my car yesterday!

Last week was… wow. Between the layoffs, company-wide reorganization, and my big flu season project wrapping up, the whole week was exhausting. I am just so, so glad it’s over. Now we all deal with the aftermath; packing the materials away for next year and updating all of the spreadsheets ever to reflect the new org chart.

My parents had some good news to share this weekend which should provide them with the financial freedom we have all been praying for. I am so happy for them! The one downer is that it pretty much sinks my professional opportunity. Blah. Although the whole thing kept fluctuating between “it would be nice” and “could actually happen,” it’s hard to let it go. I was looking forward to the possibility of doing what I really love. R reminded me this morning that we will be debt free except for our mortgage within five year and can reevaluate everything then. And he reminded me of what I always tell him: God has a plan. And I know it’s true. Just a little bummed that God’s plan didn’t involve this opportunity.

I’ve been in a terrible mood for the past three weeks. Really, there are no words. I had my standard 6-7 week cycle, started my period on October 6^th, stopped on October 8^th, temps over 98* for 13 days, and then started another period yesterday. WHAT EVEN. I’m hoping that everything just goes back to normal. I’m a generally happy and optimistic person. I pride myself with being pretty darn patient, understanding, and generally not letting things get to me. Being in this mood is just the worst.

And, because I’ve managed to work myself up now: Without the professional opportunity, a baby is pretty much guaranteed not to happen. And R and I are still in complete disagreement as to what to do about SSA. And everyone in our house, including Little K, was up until midnight last night. And I woke up this morning with four pimples. And I haven’t had carbs in over three weeks.

Just… done. Feeling very, very done. So, it’s back to doing my thing at work. Grateful to still have a job. Hoping that the week flies by and that my hormones level out. Because, seriously, what even.

So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.

Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.