Concerns: I Have Them

Let’s cut right to the chase here:

Do you see that? Do you see the temp spike at ovulation and then how my temp goes all the way back down to normal? That’s concerning.

I reached out to my old coordinator this morning, asking about blood tests. I’ve also been researching natural ways to increase progesterone. So far, the one I lake best is simply to increase to 750mg Vitamin C daily. Right now I’m just glad that I’m charting and locating problems before we (possibly) try to conceive. It would be terribly depressing to drop $1200 if my body isn’t producing enough progesterone to actually support a pregnancy.

In related news, I took Little K to the playground this weekend and it was absolutely covered in children under 3 years old and their moms. After about 30 minutes the crowd began to thin until just two families remained. Of the two, one was a mother with four daughters – age 7 to 10 months, each spaced about 2 years apart. The other was a mom of three – 3 year old girl, 2 year old boy, and an infant.

It was a difficult afternoon.

The one bright spot was seeing what I want to be. The seven year old was doing her own thing while the two middle children played together and mom hung out in the shade with the baby. Later, the mom of three had her two older children on the swings while the baby napped in the shade facing the swing set.

I watched the two families and saw exactly what I’ve been picturing. As Little K grows older, I become more confident that the age gap will be okay. Little K is maturing every day. She likes to explore and experiment on her own now, happy to do her thing as long as I’m watching and responding. She used to be very possesive of my attention and is beginning to mellow. Maybe the age difference would end up being a blessing.

That is, if I ever manage to get these hormones under control.

Right now the plan is to ride out this cycle and see what the chart says. I’m also picking up the vitamin C supplements in preparation for the next cycle. Cycle two will be vitamin C and maybe OPKs.

Or, of course, whether or not we’ll try at all.

Speaking of such things, R and I had a good talk over the weekend and seems like we understand each other better this morning. I was able to explain that, when I talk about TTC, I am not trying to persuade him but to process my thoughts and emotions. And R was able to find a place within himself where he can process his thoughts about TTC and attempt to open up to the idea without shutting down.

We both have some professional opportunities in the works that could lead to improvements in outlook and finances, which would be nice for life in general as well as possible conception. By the end of cycle two we should know what’s up with each opportunity, which will definitely influence whether or not we’ll move forward with TTC.

So, there’s everything. I am apprehensive about my chart. The weekend was tough but the week ahead feels promising. Professional change may be coming for both of us. TTC remains undecided.

What’s new with you?