The Best is Yet to Come

Today, I am thankful for the opportunity to watch a second acceptance speech made by President Barack Obama.

R and I were on opposite ends of the spectrum for this election. As we talked this morning, we discussed what it would take for the Republican Party to recover from consecutive presidential losses and a growing majority of voters made up of minorities, single women, young people, and non-theists.

The answer, in my eyes, is Jesus.

If you look at Jesus’ ministry, he wasn’t interested in aligning himself with the religious leaders of the day or, necessarily, with the ruling majority. Instead, his message was revolutionary!

Jesus preached love, community, and forgiveness. He boldly went out and told everyone he met:

You are important, you are loved, you are worthwhile. You deserve care, protection, forgiveness, and love.

Jesus didn’t do this by turning a blind eye to sin. Far from it! He solidly repeated God’s truth, upheld the law, and encouraged everyone he came across to repent and be reborn. But he accomplished this by loving people in their current circumstance. Beggar, thief, tax collector, prostitute, soldier, Jew, Gentile… His message remained the same: You are loved by the Father.

As I look back at the conduct of some politicians this election season, I see people who have forgotten Jesus’ message. Rather that spreading love, they have spread hate. Because of their actions, the words “conservative” and “Christian” have become dirty words, synonymous with class warfare and distain for women, minorities, and gays. Rather than protecting people, they tried to protect ideas. Unfortunately, some of those ideas do not align with Jesus’ message.

Matthew 5:14-16 (Message) says this:

You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept! […] Be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.

If Christians are to bring out the God-colors of the world, what kind of God do we want them to see? One full of hate or love? Of judgment or acceptance? Of attack or protection?

I believe that Christians have the ability to live for Christ while still protecting the autonomy of the individual. I can only be responsible for how I choose to use my body, how I choose to live, and how I choose to pass these values on to my children. I hope that my words and actions show Little K a woman that values people, regardless of their gender, class, sexuality, or reproductive choices.

Any candidate, regardless of party affiliation, who vows to lead our country this way will have my vote. I am already praying for the 2016 election and for the person who will become president after Barack Obama. How about you?

But when the teachers of religious law who were Pharisees saw [Jesus] eating with tax collectors and other sinners, they asked his disciples, “Why does he eat with such scum?” When Jesus heard this, he told them, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor – sick people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous but those who know they are sinners.”

Then [Jesus] stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?” “No, Lord,” she said. And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”

Learn to do what is right! Promote justice! Give the oppressed reason to celebrate! Take up the cause of the orphan! Defend the rights of the widow! Come, let’s consider your options, says the Lord. Though your sins have stained you like the color red, you can become white like snow.

[Christ] didn’t and doesn’t wait for us to get ready. He presented himself for this sacrificial death when we were far too weak and rebellious to do anything to get ourselves ready. […] God put His love on the line for us by offering His Son in sacrificial death while we were of no use whatsoever to Him.

One of the religious scholars came up […] he put in his questions: “Which is most important of all the commandments?” Jesus said, “The first in importance is, ‘Love the Lord God with all your passion and pray and intelligence and energy.’ And here is the second: ‘Love others as well as you love yourself.’ There is no other commandment that ranks with these.”

“You’re familiar with the old written law, ‘Love your friend.’ And its unwritten companion, ‘Hate your enemy.’ I’m challenging that! I’m telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives His best – the sun to wam and the rain to nourish – to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that. In a word, what I’m saying is Grow Up! You’re kingdom subject, now live like it! Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.”

Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. This is how everyone will recognize that you are My disciples – when they see the love you have for each other.

This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in Him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn’t go to all the trouble of sending His Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again!

Coming 'Round Again

You’ve already made up your mind, so what are you waiting for? Get out there and vote!

***

Today, I am thankful for a place where I can sort out my thoughts: this blog. I hope that writing all of this down gets it out of my head and allows me to let it go, accepting that the result is in God’s hands.

I had a light cocktail to help me sleep last night and, unfortunately, my evening tv show had a vasectomy plot. *headdesk* I, of course, grumbled through the commercials. Not surprisingly, I had some fertile CM this morning. Here comes the crazy…

In response to Keiko’s request for birth stories, I spent yesterday recounting the birth of Little K. Man, nothing makes me want another child like thinking about that day. I’m looking forward to putting the post up later in the week.

I’m trying to not feel too desperate as I realize that I’m turning 32 in five months and R is turning 48 in five months + one week. Time is slipping away. There’s always the nagging thought of getting older and now is better than a year from now…

I’m sitting here with a bit of a bummer hanging over my head. I know that there is only a 1% chance that we’ll decide to pursue the elephant in January. With finances continuing to be tight and me working outside the home, it just wouldn’t be smart. Plus R is still set against the whole idea. I know it would be fun, though, and wish we could have the opportunity to just try it on for a while and decide if we could do it.

It doesn’t work that way, of course. There’s no “oops!” or “let’s see how we feel in a few days” with a baby. And certainly not with home insemination. When you are holding the sample in your hand, you better know that you’re willing to see it through to the end.

I am also afraid that failing to put a baby in the guest room will encourage SSA to move back in. It is nothing against SSA: he is a good kid! He makes good grades, he generally obeys, he is not rude or vulgar. I just believe deep down inside that allowing him to move back in with us is not what is best for him.

At age thirteen, almost fourteen, SSA has not turned the corner from child into young man. He needs boundaries and consequences. I believe that this situation can be a turning point for him, the opportunity for tremendous growth and maturing. I want so badly for him to become a strong young man who understands the consequences of his actions, who has the sense to think before he acts, who works hard for what he wants, and has the endurance to see a hard situation through to the end.

Up until now, SSA has been treated with kid gloves. He has not experienced consequences or had boundaries enforced. As a result, he has remained a child with all of the attributes of a child. It’s understandable in the single-digit years but for a teenager? Not so much. In my opinion, the time for gentle correction has passed. If a hard line is drawn now, he will be forced to grow. I know that it will initially be painful -for SSA and for R- but as I look a few years down the road, I see what an amazing young man he can become. If he stays as he is now, that vision is very different and not at all a pretty sight.

I am excited to see the young man SSA could be. I hope it comes to fruition. For his sake, as well as ours.

Awk. Ward.

Today, I’m thankful for growth.

I know I’ve spoken in the past about how uncomfortable I am with talking about sexuality and my fear of having “The Talk” with Little K. Well, I’m about to toot my own horn for a moment. A couple of months ago, Little K asked me where babies come from.

Yup, that happened.

So, I reviewed the basics that my mother provided to her last year: the woman has the egg, the man has the seed, you put them together and a baby is created. Then *oh lord no* she asked how the egg and the seed get together. So, I gave her the technical names for the main body parts involved while avoiding the actual how.

And -here’s the big thing- we’ve been using the technical names ever since!

Seriously, this is HUGE for me. In fact, I’ve begun correcting her when she uses slang or nicknames for these parts!

I really want to lay a strong foundation for this topic so that the real talk goes as well as possible. Through no fault of my parents, I grew up very squeamish about sex. I don’t like talking about it, especially with my mom and dad. Example: I was watching a movie with my mom while recovering from surgery this past summer. There was a gag about sex and I blushed and hid under the blanket. At 31 years old! Seriously.

So, I’m making it technical. And I can talk technical all day long.

Hopefully this will do two things: one, I really want “the talk” to be more of a continuous discussion we have over several years rather than a big milestone conversation that leaves us both (well, me at least) very uncomfortable. And, two, I would like to begin regular dialogue on this subject so that she feels comfortable coming to me with these questions or comments at any point in her life.

I hope that the rest of our talks continue to go as well as that first one did.

In other news, Mom and Dad taught Little K our favorite card game: Crazy Eights! She and I played several times last week and she, R, and I played out first game together on Saturday. So much fun! I just love hearing her call out “last card!” She even caught me at it during our last hand and made me pick up seven cards. She’s definitely momma’s girl!

Crochet Projects

Today, I'm thankful for my Great-Grandmother. She taught my mother how to crochet, who, in turn, taught me when I was seventeen. And here I am, fourteen years later, picking it up again.

I've been working on Christmas presents for my two stepsons, SSA and RJR. Come December 25th, they will be ages 14 and 16. I currently have issues with SSA but deep down they are both good kids. It is so cool seeing how much RJR is like R, even though he wasn't raised by him! The hard part is knowing what to give them, so I'm making them something, instead! Specifically, I'm making them these.

Beard Hats! Yay! I'm done with the hat portion and am starting on the beards tomorrow. I'm attaching the beards with buttons rather than sewing them on, so hopefully they'll use the hats more. RJR's hat is red and black for his favorite college football team; SSA's is blue and white since blue is his favorite color. Both beards will be light brown.

I'm using the same hat pattern to make matching hats for Little K and her new (soon to be born) cousin, Mere. Instead of beards, I'm putting a big flower on each. I'm also designing a scalloped border for their hats. I can't wait to see them come together!

Just Another Saturday

It was on my mind on and off throughout the afternoon but I still managed to barely squeak in today's NaBloPoMo. Slept in a bit, voted early, library and playground, grocery shopping, homemade dinner, bonfire, cocktails in the candlelight with my man... What an incredible day! It's these moments -just the everyday, passing experiences- that help me see just how much I have to be thankful for.

Satisfy Me, Lord

Today, I am thankful for God’s provision. My surgery ended up being very expensive; we have six different services we are paying for, from doctors and hospitals to anesthesiology and medicine. I just paid this month’s bills and am so, so thankful that we continue to be able to afford the things we need.

I’m thankful for creativity, resourcefulness, and pre-planning. I love to give gifts and am a little concerned about Christmas this year. But my planning has paid off – I have already purchased many of the gifts we will be giving this year. Little K’s stocking stuffers have been gathered over the past several months. My parent’s gifts, my sister and her family, as well as my BFF’s gifts are all in my closet. I am halfway done with the hats I am making for the boys. We already purchased the supplies for Little K’s Christmas crafts for her extended family. I am re-evaluating some of the things on my purchase list and have already downloaded patterns for some decorations I was planning on purchasing. I’m looking forward to spending time in front of a warm fire, creating gifts of love for our family and home.

I’m thankful for what we already have: a beautiful home, a big yard, and the tools to take care of both. I was originally thinking about going shopping this weekend but, after paying the bills, would like to deep-clean the house instead. I would like to take the time to touch each beautiful thing in our house, remember the joy in purchasing each part, and appreciate how each piece works together to create a warm and loving environment.

Today, I will not worry about how to pay for the things we want or about acquiring more stuff. God has given us everything we need and will continue to provide for us.

Today's scripture passage is long but worth it:

“If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don’t fuss about what’s on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to Him than birds!

“Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? All this time and money wasted on fashion – do you think it makes that much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them.

“If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers – most of which are never even seen – don’t you think He’ll attend to you? Take pride in you? Do His best for you?

“What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way He works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how He works. Steep your like in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions., Don’t worry about missing out! You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

“Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.”

NaBloPoMo and Thankful Living

Last November, I was new to blogging and had so much to say that it felt easy to post everyday for a month (not that I managed to do it, but whatevs). This year, though, I am feeling dry and empty. I feel like I’ve said everything twice already:

·         Want a baby? Check

·         (Probably) Won’t have a baby? Check

·         Processing the divorce? Check

·         SSA housing? Check

Blargh. But I’m still excited to be taking part in NaBloPoMo! I want to take the time to recognize the things in my life that I am truly thankful for. (Whoops – ended that sentence with a preposition. Should be: for which I am truly thankful.)

I have the following phrase posted on my computer monitor:

Life is too precious to waste on complaints.

I would like to spend the next 30 days complaint-free. In the grand scheme of things, my life is good. Great, even! Of the things that I value (family, faith, home, creativity), I have each one in abundance. I was speaking with R on Tuesday night and asked him what is good in his life. What is worth getting out of bed for? What gets him excited? He had a hard time answering those questions. I can’t bring him out of his depression, but I can set an example of what “praise Him through the storm” looks like.

Each day, I will be posting something that I am thankful for:

Today, I am thankful for my family.

Being Little K’s mother and R’s wife makes me so very, very happy! I look forward to coming home each night and spending time with R and Little K. There was a time (oh, about six years ago) when I didn’t have that. When home was a source of stress and unhappiness. I am so thankful that I have these two wonderful people to spend time with each day.

*dspence’s paraphrase of Philippians 4:6-7, Message translation:*

Don’t fret or complain. Instead of complaining, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your complaints into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces complaining as the center of your life.

What are you thankful for today?