Friday, August 30, 2013

Shower Thoughts

This post is about pregnancy. If you're not in a good place, please feel free to pass. Take care of you!

I want to be sure before moving forward with this post that it is understood that we don't expect a baby shower or think a shower is due to us just because I'm pregnant. As we were discussing this subject, R told me that a baby shower was not held for either of his two boys. I know that the minimum requirements, a car seat and a place to sleep, will be covered. So much of what one puts on a registry is not, technically, a necessity.


Something I never really thought about as we went through our own unique version of secondary infertility: do you have a baby shower for a second child?

I understand that for most "normal" families and etiquette in the truest sense, the answer to this would be no. My thoughts on our situation, however, are different. My first child will be eight years old by the time the second child is born. I have nothing left: no gear, no car seat, no crib, no toys... Not a drop except for the few pieces I chose to keep for sentimental reasons.

Something that goes along with this for me is friends. While I've made a handful of connections here in NC (two neighbors, my previous boss, a few ladies at BSF), all of my close friends and certainly all of my blood family are out of state. I also have people in FL who come to mind, old church friends who are special to me and supported me through the divorce, but I don't stay in regular contact with them. If I still lived in FL, I would include these people if we were to have a shower. I also would have stayed in contact with them, since y'know, we'd be in the same town. But, since I'm out of state now, I think it would tacky.

I don't work in a traditional office, so there's no expectation there (even though I personally planned THREE surprise baby showers while I was at my last job and struggling through SIF. Grr!)

I would love your honest thoughts about all of this.
Please don't feel like you have to say "yes, do it!"

Right now, I'm asking the Lord for generosity whether that comes in terms of someone in NC offering to host a shower or His provision of finances to purchase these items.


  1. YES. I have thrown two for second children in the past year. It is called a sprinkle instead of a shower since it is a second child. DO IT.


  3. I think it depends on the norms for your friends and family. My family does throw sprinkles for second babies. My husband's doesn't. If someone offers and you and your husband are comfortable with it, then accept.

  4. 8 years difference is a long time. If someone offers, I'd say yes. I wouldn't suggest or ask though, in my opinio