It’s that kind of day. Proof: It’s been six hours since I started this post. I just… ugh.
We had our neighbors over on Saturday for burgers and drinks. Look at us, being social! We had a great time and all the kids got along well. Can’t wait to do it again!
Little K was in a school play today and it was totally adorable. I can’t figure out how to put video from my phone on here, though, so you’ll just have to take my word for it.
I can tell my period is coming because I’m having trouble staying asleep and have been feeling incredibly overwhelmed the past two days. I actually woke up this morning with an overarching feeling of dread. I took 200mg of 5-HTP yesterday and another 400mg so far today. I feel like I can’t possibly get everything accomplished that I need to for work and just want to hide from all of my responsibilities. Ugh.
I know that, besides my cycle, a big part of why I’m feeling out of control is because I’m taking Little K to spend the summer with her father the end of next week. I miss her so much when she’s gone and worry about her when she’s with her dad for an extended period of time. Praying for protection for my little girl.
Not to mention that there are things to do and people to see while I’m in FL but what I want to do most is just spend time with my family and hang by the pool. And spend as much time with Little K as possible before she goes to her dad. I’m trying not to beat myself up about that and let it go. No one except my family and BFF need to even know that I’m in FL that weekend. I’m allowed to hide if I need to.
Since I started typing this I have started spotting. Looks like my period is coming tomorrow. That means CD12 will hit the day I’m travelling back from FL. Of course. Since we’ve never seen anything on CD12, I’ll just go for a scan on CD13 instead and leave it with the Lord. The good news is that it’s a week earlier than we expected, which is wonderful. And our IUI, should we get that far (HA! I’ll believe it when I see it.) will take place before the boys arrive. Yay for privacy!
My mom will be teaching Biblical Greek in 2014 as a part of her seminary courses and my sister and I are her guinea pigs this summer/fall. We received the materials last week and are doing the intro work this week. I’m super excited about being able to read the New Testament in the original language! At the same time, I’m concerned about my ability to stay on top of the work this summer. Hopefully the arrival of my period will help alleviate the overwhelmed feelings I’ve been having and get me going on this.
At R’s request, we cut carbs out of our diet this week. Not calling it a true Low Carb thing, just removal of starch/carbs/sugar and substituting lots of fresh veggies. Which is basically how I do Low Carb. Whatever. R is excited to lose some of the weight from the past five years and I always feel better when I’m not filling up on junk. Let’s call it a Freshening of our plates, k?
As we embarked on this new way of eating, I reminded R that it’s about subtraction rather than addition. Remove the carbs while trying *REALLY* hard not to replace them with fat. Instead, fill up the carb portion of the meal with fresh veggies. I told him to expect one giant salad a day – Face Salad (aka Salad as Big as Your Face). Heh. For example:
Tuesday’s Dinner: Mexican Face Salad! Romaine lettuce, baby bell peppers, red onion, steamed southwest kale, ground turkey breast with taco seasoning, light ranch dressing, grated cheese, NSA salsa. 12 Carbs.
Replaced taco shells and refried beans with lettuce and veggies. Substituted FF greek yogurt (already a sub for sour cream) with light ranch dressing. Kept the onions and peppers but consumed fresh instead of sautéed in oil.
Wednesday’s Lunch: two slices each Boar’s Head roast beef and deli chicken, light string cheese, fresh cauliflower, fresh cucumber, light ranch dressing. 4 Carbs.
Replaced bread, mayo, and chips with veggies and light ranch dressing. Replaced full fat cheese slice with light string cheese.
Wednesday’s Dinner: Citrus Chicken Face Salad! Romaine lettuce, California Citrus grilled chicken, steamed California Citrus kale, orange pieces, bacon, light ranch dressing. 12 Carbs.
Removed breading from chicken, grilled instead of pan fried. Replaced mac and cheese with lettuce and veggies. Added bacon (hey, it’s delicious!).
And last but not least, I just got a call from work asking if I can be in Houston for Tues/Wed next week or the week after. I gave the okay and am waiting to hear back with the final dates. I’m really hoping for the earlier dates since we should theoretically be doing an IUI sometime the following week. Oh well, I can always take my trigger to TX with me… Again, leaving it with the Lord!
Looks like I’m having to trust the Lord with a lot of things today: my period, the IUI, work travel, Little K’s time with her dad.
Lord, I recognize that I have no control over these things. You are in control and Your plans are always better than mine. Please fill me with your peace as I wait on You. I need You.
Sorry for the lack of a cute wrap up. Just… ALL OF THE THINGS AND EMOTIONS! I want to go hide in a hole somewhere and never come out. K?