Healing, Changes, Grace

Three good things:

·         I’ve lost 2 pounds! Hooray!

·         I’m making kale chips tonight!

·         My amazing mother is going back to Uganda!

Now for the other stuff:

I feel stretched. Not the good, flexible kind but the spread thin kind. A good portion of what I’m feeling is from work. I’m basically one person doing three jobs and am officially over it. I just don’t have capacity and am falling behind daily. Something’s gotta give.

But I know it’s more than that.

R and I have fallen for a house in my hometown and would love to move (or I would and he’s not against the idea). Babies are unavoidable right now and that’s difficult to say the least. I have two sewing projects that I want to get started on but can’t find the appropriate fabric. They’ve started construction on the lot adjacent to us and, due to some incorrectly placed property stakes when we moved in, we’ve lost a portion of our front yard.

And there’s the surgery stuff. I’m about 80% healed from surgery, which is fantastic. The area that was treated aggressively still has some healing to do but most everything else is healed and slightly tender. Not bad! I’m feeling the past six weeks catch up with me, though. Everything happened so fast! We went from irregular pap to biopsy to oncologist to surgery in about three weeks. And then I spent the past three weeks healing. It’s like medical whiplash – six weeks and I’m just starting to notice how drained I feel.

The house is suffering right now. Usually the summer is when we get the big projects done. R has been putting the yard back to rights, building another section of the fence, and adding beam supports to the pergola. Such an impressive guy! And I’ve… cleaned Little K’s closet. That’s it. There are baseboards to be washed, picture frames to dust, paint to touch up, and mirrors to measure for frames but I just don’t have it in me right now. I want to be active but can’t manage to find the energy. Blah.

I am trying, though. I’ve started back on my vitamin regimen today which includes 5-HTP. (Homeopathic anti-depressant, very effective for me.) I’m planning on having a talk with my supervisor on Monday to ask for my old job back. R is working upstairs tomorrow and I hope to take care of the baseboards, frames, and dusting in the master suite.

Time to turn this thing around!