Tuesday, November 1, 2011

NaBloPoMo


National Blog Posting Month is headed up by Stirrup Queens’ Melissa Ford, author of one of my favorite infertility guides (Navigating the Land of IF) and a novel about blogging (Life from Scratch.)

The theme for November is simple: blogging for the sake of blogging.

Why did I start blogging?

Writing is a prevalent gift in my family: my mother and father are paid to write, my sister is excelling as an English major and creative writer, and she and my mother are amazing editors.

But writing is not my gift. Reading, however, is something I excel at and enjoy immensely.

Which is what led me to the blogging world in the first place. Wouldn’t you know it – I have a blog post all teed up on that very subject!

But more on that tomorrow.

Throughout my marriage and divorce I became increasingly isolated, building walls to keep the “big emotions” out. I was overwhelmed by feelings of failure and guilt, realizing that this was not what life should look like, but afraid of the backlash from my family and religious community if I admitted that the relationship wasn’t going to work.

My remarriage has helped break down some of those walls, and events of the past three years have led me to a safe place, where I’ve been free to begin truly exploring myself. It is only in this past year that I have been able to put my thoughts on the screen, although I kept them to myself at first. Through blogging, I am learning to embrace those parts of myself, recognizing these thoughts and feelings as acceptable and entirely valid.

Blogging as therapy is not new, but it is working for me. Already I have seen a post take me to a surprising conclusion, providing additional insight into myself and my emotions.

It is not that I want to be diagnosed with infertility; it’s that I want you to know that I understand.

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